Of all things in life, I figured that I had the animal kingdom covered. Figuring out how to submit federal taxes, learning how to create a financial model, and just plain getting-anywhere-on-time might seem out of reach, but at least I knew solid facts about the earth's creatures, right?
Wrong.
Otters, bears, cats, dogs, and ponies might have been under control, but I apparently missed the entire continent of Africa in my education, despite a family subscription to Zoobooks and a plethora of nature programs on tv.
The void in my knowledge became woefully (and hilariously) apparent when Taylor, hunter extrordinaire, sent me a link to a 24/7 live feed of a watering hole in South Africa. Behold, the Africam.
The Africam is brilliant in its simplicity: some dude at the Sabi Sands Private Game Reserve aims a camera at Nkorho Pan, a pond, (and occasionally the surrounding fields) and films the animals. The pond plays host to a variety of creatures-- but certainly not the chipmunks, rats, and killer swans of Lincoln Park. Rather, the cast of the Africam is dominated by wildebeest, impala, elephants, and two amorous rhinos.
Taylor, whose knowledge of animals and adventures is on par with that of Jack Hanna or the late Steve Irwin (minus the khaki onesie, though I am told that he does own a great deal of safari apparel-- just not short-shorts, which is a shame), would watch the Africam and delight when a new creature showed up. A sample:
C: woah check out the watering hole
T: i don't see anything?
C: a dog or deer or something walked across the screen
T: oh ya, i can't tell what that is.... i'll bet ya it isn't a dog though haha
C: haha it looked like a big dog earlier
After I learned that domesticated canines simply don't frequent African watering holes, it was time for me to learn about the animals that do. But sometimes learning can be painful/amusing for the educated/Taylor:
T: name that species...
C: from here it looks like a mini pony
C: but that can't be right!
C: is that a lion??
T: hint: they gave simba hell on the lion king
C: jackal?
T: WRONG!!!!!
T: hint #2: they laugh
C: ummmmm his bad uncle scar??
C: HYENA!! haha
T: YESSSSS
C: hahaha i'm on fire today!
Another example:
C: woahhh there's like a yak or something now.... like a stripey yak
T: haha try again
C: water buffalo?
T: nope, those are in australia
C: rrrr... i just googled "african animals" and it looks like a "bongo"??
T: ha no those are in the central african republic....this is not an antelope
C: but it has stripessss
C: wildebeest!!!
T: which kind
C: ...
C: a blue wildebeest?
T: DING DING DING DING
C: seriously??? YESSSSSSSSSSSSS
T: yep
C: i'm the next steve irwin!
T: im afraid you have a whole lot more africam watching before you could make that claim
C: hahaha i mean, eventually
C: but i knew that it was the blue wildebeest as opposed to the white-bearded one... so that is a plus
T: there is only blue and black
C: dang, google is messing with me
Given that I had no idea what I was talking about, I decided to embrace whatever I could find online via Wikipedia's Fauna of Africa listing. A whole new world had opened up! How had I survived 24 years on earth without knowledge of the golden-rumped elephant shrew, the dusky dolphin, the grey-cheeked mangabey, or the extremely cute cape fox? There is so much to learn about!
Although I can properly identify approximately 25.0% of the creatures that frequent it, the watering hole is amazing. The other day a group herd pack posse of lions ate a wildebeest (blue? black? white bearded??) with hyena(s) and vultures looking on. And a few Jeeps full of Asian tourists. Two rhinos "got together" on the shore one afternoon (the logistics of which are still puzzling), and I keep seeing a tiny creature resembling Taylor's half-poodle-half-terrier (a perrier??) Bosley flitting across the screen, though this might just be a transmission error.
Either way, the Africam has been wonderful. I am learning about "new" parts of the animal kingdom, and Taylor is able to impart his wealth of knowledge (and he hasn't made fun of me nearly as much as I deserve). It's fun to watch, to escape into a new world, and lie in wait, for maybe, just maybe, a real dog or the mysterious white-bearded wildebeest to scamper across the screen.
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